Saturday, January 9, 2010

a morning letter

 One of my classmates from UNLV sent me this. And I cried.

I was sitting at the hockey game tonight and a family brought a little girl maybe 7 years old with cerebral palsy. They carefully walked her down the steps and sat her down in the seat. Her hands were twisted but she had the most pure and innocent smile on her face. I couldn't help myself and I burst into tears. I thought about my own disability and wondered if God saw us as broken and disabled. I remembered the shortest verse in the Bible: Jesus wept. It shows me that God has compassion on us and Jesus did not come to make us feel bad about ourselves but that He loves us. He weeps for us like I wept for that little girl, so innocent and tragically disabled for life. I just feel so bad that we don't have the power to heal people like Jesus and the disciples did. And I always go back to the same thing everybody does: If God is all loving and all knowing, why did he allow for all this suffering and disability to hurt so many people? Why is there so much awfulness and ugliness in the world? And the only answer I get is that God wants to show how much He love us. And that we can show His love to them through the work that we do. Maybe that little girl will be one of our students one day. Maybe she'll grow up and do something great for the world. Or maybe she'll draw one broken man closer to God.

God Bless,


Thursday, January 7, 2010

like a werewolf, only not at all.

i am the happiest girl in the world. most people would say that. most people would say that i am obnoxiously joyful all the time. and i am, its whats in my guts.
but those same people dont see me 1-2 hours before i go to sleep. because i morph into a grumpy, hopeless, crazy person. im not really sure what happens in my brain, and i think its because im tired, and it used to not affect anyone but me.
then i married this guy who has to hang out with me. specifically during the 2 hours before bed. and i take it all out on him. almost nightly.
how can you love someone more than life itself and completely hate their freaking guts twenty minutes later???
okay, thats an exaggeration. but still. its really annoying to be married to me when im tired because im a heartless grump.
and then i wake up the next morning singing and giggling at butterflies, and hes like wtf? you wanted to die last night.
which makes no sense to me when im happy. like, sounds like hes crazy because how could i be SO happy, but so miserable 14 hours later?
anyway, that is my weakness. and there is a certain enemy who attacks right at that time. this nagging feeling of misery that isnt even real and why do i keep listening, when i KNOW whats true?
end rant.

husbands and wives and healthy eating

omar: mmm i want some ice cream.
me: ughhh, i cant have any ice cream.
omar: yes you can. this ice cream is all natural.
me: oh. well. the whole idea is not to eat crap. ice cream is cra.....
 omar: me, on the other hand, im a man. my body was built to eat poison. and survive.

it all started when omar and i decided to do a 40 day fast, which involves not eating junk food. which turned into an all natural fast. which turned into me only eating fish and nuts and vegetables, and him eating ice cream, apparently.
i've been a junk food fiend since childhood. im pretty sure it started when my mom told me that sliced apples were cookies for the first four years of my life. i was deprived, and so i made up for it by being addicted to chocolate and doritos and anything made of sugar or with more than 10 grams of fat. once i ate a jar of nutella in 3 hours. dont act like youre not impressed.
anyway, i started wondering what it would be like to be healthy. like, if my body wasnt filled with chemicals and reeses pieces. so, we got ourselves a copy of P90X and some salmon and brown rice. then, suddenly, i realized i married a freakshow.

here is how we eat our food. guess which one is his.