tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89852951779780482522024-02-20T12:51:30.599-08:00Salad DaysAllie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-49063578930412993502012-07-25T10:11:00.000-07:002012-07-25T10:11:36.754-07:00On flowers and bikes and five years of matrimony.<div style="text-align: center;">
July 29th will be the 5 year anniversary of our marriage. If you had asked me on my wedding day, a 21 year old bride, what I thought life would look like in 5 years, I would have shrugged. At 21, I could not think that far into the future. There is so much wisdom that comes with age and life experiences, that at 21 I thought I knew everything and at almost 27, I can tell you that I know very little. What I do know is this- our love has bloomed and blossomed at a steady pace from the day that we met. There has not been a single moment that has gone by that my love for Omar hasn't increased, and vice versa. At 21, I would have said that is the definition of successful love.<br />
I now know that it is not. </div>
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It is the moments that we have struggled and fought to sustain the promise we made that have created the roots that ground our love.<br />
A pretty flower can only survive so long once it is out of the ground, it grows and is beautiful, then it slowly dies. Above the surface, our love has continuously blossomed, bringing beauty and light to the world around us, but without our roots, the beauty is temporary.<br />
Deep reaching roots are the definition of successful love.<br />
When Omar and I got married, we had dated for exactly 1 year. We had only been dating for 1 year, yet we promised our entire lives away to each other, not knowing the cost. We knew very little of sacrifice and forgiveness. We only knew attraction, that there was an undeniable connection between us, and how to hear the still, small voice of God pushing us towards the alter. </div>
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In the last 5 years, I have learned to love another person. Not superficial adoration, but true, unconditional, undeniable, worth dying for kind of love.<br />
There is nothing I wouldn't do for Omar.<br />
There is no place I wouldn't go and no sacrifice I wouldn't make if it meant he would benefit from it. There was a point in our marriage where I was moments away from filing for divorce, that I thought God had abandoned us, that I hadn't heard Him clearly when He told me to say "I do." It was in that moment that God moved in ways that I had been praying for for years. He brought about a repentance that I had only read about in books, and caused us both to reexamine everything we knew of Him and one another. He filled our lives with people who were present in the storms and valleys, when things got unbearable, there was not a single burden that we carried alone.<br />
We were covered in prayer and surrounded by tangible love.<br />
Recently, we bought bicycles with hopes to someday do a triathalon. The most fun part of cycling is coasting downhill, however, it is not possible to go downhill without having to go uphill. Uphill rides are extremely difficult, there are moments when I cannot breathe and my legs feel like they are going to give out. There is a stark contrast between the ease of going downhill and the effort it takes to go up. Downhill is fun and freeing and I used to think that was what marriage was about. In the moments when I have nearly given up because the intensity of the uphill pedaling gets to be too much, it is there when I meet God. It is those moments when I cling to Him, when He is the only thing sustaining me. There are little to no benefits in going downhill except that it feels good in the moment. My muscles, my confidence, my improved heart health, my strength and my mind only benefit from the uphill climb, the unbearable moments of clinging to Jesus and pushing forward even though it feels like I cannot. <br />
5 years feel like an incredible victory. Growing up with Omar has been the most significant part of my life thusfar. Through the joys and the trials, he has taught me more than any other human being. He challenges me to be more, to do more, to push harder and to overcome. He constantly holds a mirror to the brokenness and beauty inside of me, and helps me to see my soul clearly. He does not allow me to give up or give in, instead, he is behind me, yelling for me to keep pedaling, to keep going, encouraging me and calling things out of me that I cannot see myself. Our love is deep rooted, and strong, and though we will face many more uphill battles, we will face them together.<br />
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"We're dancing in the minefields,</div>
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We're sailing in the storms, </div>
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and its harder than we dreamed, but, I believe,</div>
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thats what the promise is for.</div>
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So, when I lose my way, find me.<br />
When I loose love's chains, bind me<br />
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days,<br />
when I forget my name, remind me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because we bear the light of the Son of Man,<br />
so there's nothing left to fear,<br />
So, I'll walk with you in the shadowlands<br />
till the shadows disappear.<br />
Because He promised not to leave us<br />
And His promises are true.<br />
So, in the face of all this chaos, baby, <br />
<b><i>I can dance with you."</i></b><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
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<br /></div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-63554359686002494472012-05-27T21:54:00.001-07:002012-05-27T21:54:12.036-07:00rememberingtoday's sermon was about remembering, so i spent the last half hour looking through my old blogs and realizing a few things.<br />
<br />
first, i don't feel like an alien anymore. i spent so much of the last 7 or so years feeling like i was from another planet. the tension between following Christ and having my own way was so intense, and it made me have a perpetual feeling of being homesick. i am not sure which changes have made this feeling less relevant, but i feel like i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be. i still have moments where i hope Jesus will just come and take me home, where i wrestle with the ugliness of humanity and this world, but they are no longer dominating my life. thank God for that.<br />
<br />
second, in september, i wrote that i wanted to be migraine free by april 2012 after suffering from migraines for the better part of my life. thank god, i have found a solution. they are needle-less imitrex injections that i take when my migraines come on, and they have changed my life. i haven't truly suffered from a migraine for several months now. i can't believe that i'm finally free!<br />
<br />
third, i really need to stop planning my own life. i'm terrible at it.<br />
<br />
fourth, i am overwhelmed with gratefulness for the church that God has given us. i've always kind of been annoyed by the idea of getting fully invested in one particular church. i think its because i've witnessed people worship church over worshiping God, and i was always so afraid of that happening that i never allowed myself to get involved. we are invested in a church with every single characteristic that i ever hoped for in a church. our pastor is an authentic man of God whose singular goal is to bring the hearts of people to God. every part of his life says that this is true. he has taken the time to invest in Omar and to challenge him to be a better man. he has believed in him and called things out of him that may not have happened without his encouragement. he understands grace and second chances and places integrity as the highest priority in peoples' character. i've never grown more spiritually than i have in this place with these people. we are surrounded by people who are authentically following Jesus and loving others. and its the little things too. our church understands the importance of adoption. although it is only a little more than a year old, we are investing in orphans and widows in our community and abroad. there are multiple families in our church who have adopted children and are so good at parenting them. my best friend's husband is the worship pastor. our friend, vincent, is the guitar player. omar is the children's ministry director and they think its cool that he decorated his office in vintage super hero art. i'm just stoked to be challenged by the sermons, filled by the areas that we get to serve, and brought to the throne of grace each week in worship. i didn't realize what an important role being involved in an authentic church would play in our lives until now.<br />
<br />
i really feel like a grown up and its weird and great and i love omar and the other rad people in our life and holy moly we are are so blessed. life is goooood. <br />
<br />
<br />Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-37629471007769045652012-01-01T15:06:00.000-08:002012-01-01T15:06:17.244-08:0020112011 will go down as the craziest year of my life. i have never grown so much in a single year. i am stronger, braver, more humble, more grateful, and more in awe of the power of Christ than i have even been. a few things that happened this year (in no particular order):<br />
- we were on national television (wheel of fortune) where we won a trip to puerto rico!<br />
-i was awarded "new teacher of the year" for CCSD!<br />
-we remodeled our house!<br />
-we hiked vernal falls in yosemite, and we didnt even die!<br />
-we stopped drinking alcohol completely.<br />
-i went to california more times than i can count. at least more than 6 times. <br />
-we drove to san francisco and got to see the golden gate bridge!<br />
-i got a master's degree!!!!<br />
-i asked my boss if she would double the size of my classroom and hire my best friend, jocelyn, to co-teach with me and she did! we have 9 of the cutest, best, kids ever. our kids have grown and are doing things that we were told they would never do.<br />
-toured hollywood with my baby sister and stayed at a fancy hotel.<br />
-we camped on the beach with 6 of our friends!<br />
-jocelyn (see above) went from being a classmate, to being one of my very best friends. she gave her life to Jesus 3 months ago, and has immensely blessed my life with her presence in it!<br />
-Jesus saved my marriage. He gave us a hope and a future when we saw none. redemption has never been more tangible than it was in 2011!!!!! <br />
-watched my best friend give birth to her perfect little boy. we are obsessed with him!<br />
- omar started a job at the raddest church in america. he spends everyday serving God with my best friend's husband. rad!<br />
-went on a mermaid trip with my favorite girls to disneyland and rode the mermaid ride!!!<br />
-omar got into seminary to be a pastor! <br />
-we started the process to get our foster care license!<br />
-we spent 8 days in puerto rico riding horses through the rainforest, hiking, kayaking in bioluminescent bays, best vacation of my life and it was FREE! thanks, pat sajak!<br />
<br />
(in making this list, i realized a few things. one- this is a blessed life. i can't believe i'm living it. two- 2011 was a LONG year. i had to look at facebook pictures, because i didn't remember most of what happened in the first six months of this year. pure, utter, chaos that i can't believe happened, and praise the lord! we came out on top.)Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-11025592194635105322011-12-25T11:05:00.000-08:002011-12-25T11:05:10.795-08:00christmas cheer.i started off this christmas season with a bad case of the scrooges. i complained to omar that christmas was going to be depressing this year. we both have small immediate families, and last year may have been the worst christmas ever. the thought of putting up a tree for just the two of us, without enchanted little eyes to look at it, depressed me. i sat with omar at the starbucks at target a few weeks ago and complained about all of the reasons that i wasnt excited for christmas. and i prayed.<br />
then, suddenly i was.<br />
the difference between a depressing holiday season, and a delightful one, is the choice that one makes to have one or the other.<br />
i realized this morning that this is the best christmas of my life. my life is more blessed today than it has ever been. in fact, every christmas past pales in comparison to the incredible life that i am living this christmas. sometimes, we just need to pause and take note of the goodness. i am married to an amazing man, a man i deeply respect and admire, a man who has overcome incredible obstacles in the last year and has shown me what it means to lay down your life for those you love. our parents and siblings are still alive and love us. we live in a beautiful house that has recently been painted and tiled, and we haven't had to pay for any of it. we both drive cars that always start when we turn the key. we both have fulfilling jobs that we look forward to going to everyday. we have the BEST friends in the entire universe, and they are in a better place than they have ever been.<br />
<b><i>and even if none of that were true, we have a God who loves us immensely, who guides our every step, who has completely redeemed us and turns the murky, awful messes of our lives into beautiful goodness. and THAT is reason enough for Christmas cheer. </i></b>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-50872466867334262382011-12-24T11:25:00.000-08:002011-12-24T11:25:38.658-08:00gifts of christmas past i wrote this to omar for christmas, five years ago. it is more true today than ever before. thankful for my incredible husband, the best christmas gift ive ever gotten. <br />
<br />
i cant thank God enough for the gift of you. <br />
for the way you pray.<br />
for the way you treat the people around you.<br />
for the way you love love love Him. <br />
for the fact that you are more than enough for me.<br />
for the way our lives have been coming together long before we even knew eachother.<br />
for the fact that you dont want pets.<br />
for the way you laugh from your heart.<br />
for your gentle, sincere, smiling eyes.<br />
for the way you look at me.<br />
for the way you try to be subtle, but really are not at all.<br />
for the fact that you took me to sea world, and insisted that we wore matching shamu shirts.<br />
for the fact that you love Christmas time, and we make lists together and do everything on them.<br />
for the way your first response is to pray.<br />
for your wonderful family.<br />
for the way you brush my hair everyday.<br />
for the fact that you are the most attractive person that i have ever known, and the fact that i have no idea how to express that to you. <br />
for the way you value my opinion.<br />
for the way you've sacrificed your life for me.<br />
for the way you are so silly, and you dont care what people think.<br />
for the fact that youre the most generous person i know.<br />
for the fact that ive never had to guess how you feel about me.<br />
for the way you are willing to give me space.<br />
for the way you are so receptive of Gods voice, and so eager to serve Him.<br />
for the fact that i can tell you everything, and have.<br />
for the way you love your family, my family, and are excited about our family.<br />
for the way youve always respected me.<br />
for the fact that you took care of a nano pet for three weeks just so i would let you hold my hand.<br />
for the fact that you tell me at least ten times a day that im beautiful.<br />
for the way you worship.<br />
for the way you love your Young Life kids.<br />
for the way you kept pursuing me even after i shot you down. like 10 times.<br />
for the fact that i'm currently reading "The Power of a Praying Wife."<br />
for the way you have a heart that beats with mine, and beats for Christ and even though i've spent my whole life imagining you, you exceed all of my expectations.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-49783598734233535852011-11-12T15:54:00.000-08:002011-11-12T16:01:58.026-08:00on withholding good<blockquote><b>"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is within the power of your hand to do so." </b><br />
<b>Proverbs 3:27</b></blockquote>i've had several negative experiences in the last few months that have prompted this post. one of them was yesterday while i was talking to my sweet neighbor. she is a loving human and a wonderful parent. when i told her that we were trying to get our foster care license she said, "why? those kids are really messed up."<br />
over the last few months we've had several people come into our classroom of kids with severe physical and mental disabilities and although we have done <i>everything</i> in our power to create the most inviting room possible, they let us know at the end of the day that they didn't realize they were going to be working with "these kinds of kids" and that they were out of their comfort zone.<br />
<br />
thought: i have been working with people with special needs for five years now. i still do not feel comfortable. love, acceptance, excitement, anticipation, joy, gratitude, hope, amusement, inspiration, shock, awe- but not comfortable. <br />
should we keep human beings from good because of our own discomfort? is this ever acceptable? maybe the point of life is not to nestle ourselves as deep as possible into our comfort zones. <br />
people of the world, hear me on this- TAKE RISKS. step outside of your zone of comfort and LIVE. every good thing involves risk. the decision to believe that all human beings are worthy of love, and that it is in your power to love them, will reshape every single aspect of your life. i know that it has for mine. i have known many, many people who started to experience life because they were brave enough to be uncomfortable. i have friends who just moved to thailand as missionaries. they were not seeking comfort, they were seeking fullness of life. it is rare to have both.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-47332882757141816682011-10-27T16:35:00.000-07:002011-10-27T16:35:13.682-07:00i am not the boss of life.at some point, probably a little before my birth, i decided that i was the boss of life. i started dictating the world around me at a young age, and that worked fine because i was an only child and i was only bossing inanimate objects. recently, it has come to my attention that i have a lot of thoughts and ideas and opinions and feelings, and ive subconsciously decided that i know everything at the ripe old age of 26. as it turns out, i dont know everything. i know very little about a few things. thinking im the boss of life has had a few positive ramifications, but mostly it has made me frantic and stressed. apparently i can't control everything and everyone in my environment (damn those people that change lanes without blinkers!). i really just want the whole world to follow my made up rules about living.<br />
i have a hard time finding the balance between influencing people in a positive way (everyone should go to www.toms.com and buy the cutest, most comfortable shoes ever- such a good cause!) and feeling entitled to pressure people into making decisions. maybe its because hard decisions are hard to make, and ive rarely made them without encouragement from others. anyway, its exhausting. im hoping and praying that jesus will reach in and clean out my heart and make me trust him and learn how to stop trying to control my world.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-80651467296058989412011-10-22T19:29:00.000-07:002011-10-22T19:29:34.507-07:00just the facts- foster editiontoday we completed day 5 of our foster care training. i am halfway (after three hours--just tonight, in addition to the other 4 days) through with the paperwork process which involves so much more than just paperwork.<br />
so far, we love our agency.<br />
did i mention that we are getting licensed in<i> treatment</i> foster care? to qualify, children have to have a medical diagnosis of some kind and are in need of healing. we were trained in how to deal with minor to severe behaviors and to love kids into healing. the process for this is a little bit more extensive than typical foster care, but the support is much greater. we truly believe that our agency loves kids and has their best interest in mind, which is contrary to much of what is believed about regular state foster care. we are still praying for the children that will live in our home, and trying to trust God in the many question marks. in the deepest parts of my heart, the ultimate goal is adoption. its scary to type that out because the mentality behind that puts us at great risk for disappointment. we also want to ensure that we are loving the hell out of every kid, even if their ultimate plan is to be reunified with their biological parents. our goal is to make a permanent difference in the life of a child, regardless of what their future holds.<br />
i love watching omar's interest in finding out the ages of every kid he meets and how he interacts with them in such a loving, genuine, positive way. he is the best dad ive ever met and he doesnt even have kids yet. <br />
still praying for a little boy, omar desperately needs an excuse to buy the new transformer toys.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-27887249847343852382011-10-18T20:40:00.000-07:002011-10-18T20:40:33.492-07:00watch that fratboythis is a conversation from june of 2005 with my best friend, whitney. oh man. thank you, Jesus, for giving me her and for the infinite ways You have blessed our friendship. <br />
<br />
Kissinpixiedust: i heard you were putting your first name with deans last name<br />
Kissinpixiedust: WTF<br />
Tardass752: okay I am having horrible flash backs of chad<br />
Tardass752: lol<br />
Kissinpixiedust: chad is a good thing in retrospect<br />
Tardass752: that means where's the funk right<br />
Tardass752: only in retrospect<br />
Kissinpixiedust: whitney the freak<br />
Tardass752: wally the frog<br />
Kissinpixiedust: white toe fungus<br />
Tardass752: winnie the fool<br />
Kissinpixiedust: where the food<br />
Kissinpixiedust: watch that fratboy<br />
Tardass752: wear tight fruit<br />
Kissinpixiedust: wash tibetan flags<br />
Tardass752: whine to fred<br />
Kissinpixiedust: your mom<br />
Tardass752: no i don't think that is it<br />
Kissinpixiedust: we jsut spent the entire day and night together. and now were tlakign on aim. thats pathetic<br />
Tardass752: yup its official..... who needs a boyfriend<br />
Tardass752: we wouldnt have time for one<br />
Kissinpixiedust: what would we even do with one<br />
Tardass752: pay each other to dump him I guess<br />
Tardass752: next ones we date...lets let them be the absolute wrong guy<br />
Tardass752: just for kicks<br />
Tardass752: like you date kyle and ill date mike<br />
Tardass752: or sean carmona<br />
Tardass752: or your dad<br />
Tardass752: or greg<br />
Tardass752: and you date ....<br />
Tardass752: jon mamies<br />
Kissinpixiedust: can i just date dean<br />
Kissinpixiedust: hes totally the wrong guy<br />
Kissinpixiedust: cmon please<br />
Tardass752: and then we can go get fake brontisoruos tattos<br />
Tardass752: because we will be fake dating<br />
Tardass752: then you will definatly have those shoes!!!<br />
Kissinpixiedust: OKAY<br />
Kissinpixiedust: lets do it<br />
Kissinpixiedust: no ksising or holding hands though<br />
Tardass752: ewww gross<br />
Tardass752: I would never kiss you<br />
Kissinpixiedust: i thought we were talking about DEAN<br />
Kissinpixiedust: idiot<br />
Tardass752: I am still uncontrolably laughing<br />
Tardass752: I am the funniest person i know<br />
Kissinpixiedust: at least someone thinks so.<br />
Tardass752: I think the loratabs are finally kicking inAllie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-1977951326739742372011-10-15T20:56:00.000-07:002011-10-15T20:56:16.916-07:00.30 cent dishes and 28 bottles of lotionin preparation for the impending (sometime in the next six months) arrival of our (for a time) little boy (or girl, or boys and girls), we have had to take on every single room of our house. yesterday, i bought cute sailboat dishes at michael's for .30 cents each, because apparently kids break glass ones? today im cleaning out the hallway bathroom (formally known as my bathroom, home of 28 bottles of lotion). kidproofing a house is not for the faint at heart. especially if you have never met the kid and have no idea what age they are or if they have a history of vandalizing or pica (eating non-food materials). try it sometime. the anticipation is ridiculous. and you have no idea what youre anticipating until they get here. imagine being pregnant and maybe youre having a little baby but maybe youre having two 7 year old boys. its kind of like that. ambigous love that can only currently be expressed through sorting through every toxic item you own and only keeping what can fit in a small locked closet.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-83118068320716530772011-10-12T21:05:00.000-07:002011-10-12T21:05:11.949-07:00on foster parenting<div style="text-align: center;">there is a little boy who lives in my mind and probably in my city. there are moments when i think i know his name and face. when i pass kids in the hallways of my school, i wonder if he looks like them. i wonder if he is them.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> i know that he is broken.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> i know that we are being called to hold him until he is whole again.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> i know that since we started the process of getting our foster care license last week, i can think of little else. </div><div style="text-align: center;">there is a pile of rocket ships and dinosaurs and snowboard pjs. there is a list of 38 things that have to happen before we are able to take a child into our home. </div><div style="text-align: center;">i baked pumpkin bread yesterday, because moms do stuff like that. </div><div style="text-align: center;">foster parenting is tricky and right. it is what we are being called to do, and somebody will get hurt because in foster parenting, somebody always loses. i hope to do everything in my power to make sure that somebody is not an innocent little boy. (or girl, or sibling pair) </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">what a wild life!</div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-12491218767810963572011-09-25T21:05:00.000-07:002011-09-25T21:05:12.335-07:00I just haven't met you yet.<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Has nobody noticed that Michael Buble was totally talking about foster parenting/ adoption when he wrote this:</div><div style="text-align: center;">"I might have to wait, I’ll never give up<br />
I guess it's half timin and the other half's luck<br />
Wherever you are, whenever it's right<br />
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life<br />
<br />
And I know that we can be so amazin<br />
And baby your love is gonna change me<br />
And now I can see every possibility<br />
<br />
Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out<br />
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out<br />
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get<br />
<b>I just haven't met you yet</b>"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-79871849371990554072011-09-18T17:43:00.000-07:002011-09-18T17:43:16.827-07:00on migraines<div style="text-align: center;">the years that ive gotten migraines have officially outnumbered the years that ive spent without them. this means that the majority of my life has been dictated by the possible invasion of a migraine. i have tried prayer, chiropractors, brain scans, food journals, bathing in epsom salts, pain medication, prevention medication, vitamins, and botox. all of which have changed the lives of other migraine sufferers, and none of which have had a significant affect on me. i spent all night and all day in bed trying to will my migraine away. because of botox (yes! botox. fda approved for migraines as of april!), my migraines have decreased from 4 times a month, to two times a month. </div><div style="text-align: center;">im writing this because my goal is to be migraine free by april of 2012. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC2Mdgd4xOOnYHjTNQ-mz4dVxG_0mAiPXGUzDDSMXhXlVmFJlCupGpWKb8pm5NZcFreE6AP8eUmkyObF0WoIBUOp1DN_Y8BJ50HGk-jjS1jrAqrOuUQdcgyB9n7i_3XOc5NHhKgZbzvitp/s1600/migraine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC2Mdgd4xOOnYHjTNQ-mz4dVxG_0mAiPXGUzDDSMXhXlVmFJlCupGpWKb8pm5NZcFreE6AP8eUmkyObF0WoIBUOp1DN_Y8BJ50HGk-jjS1jrAqrOuUQdcgyB9n7i_3XOc5NHhKgZbzvitp/s1600/migraine.jpg" /></a></div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-73402664944127299702011-09-12T19:41:00.000-07:002011-09-12T19:41:04.529-07:00im still alive!i lived through my 25th year of life!!!!!! this is a huge victory. there has never been a bumpy, more turbulent year in all of my existence. this may be my biggest accomplishment yet. i think 26 will be the part that comes after the climax where everything is calm and all of the lose ends start to tie together. hooray for 26!Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-39394327720041174072011-07-04T09:49:00.000-07:002011-07-04T09:49:35.926-07:00on restorationone of my sweet students passed away on saturday. draven was a beautiful child, who was very sick and missed a lot of school. the few times that he came to school, he was delightful and brought joy to those around him. he was in a wheelchair, had vision and hearing problems, was non-verbal, and ate through a tube. in these moments, and all of the moments where my students are in pain or at a disadvantage, i praise god for restoration and the promise of heaven. there is nothing that gets my tear ducts going faster than the image of my sweet kiddos dancing and rejoicing with Jesus. many of us have moments of fullness or completion in this life, but many of the students in my class never do. they are born into broken bodies or minds, having to wait on the people around them to somehow meet their needs. im thinking about draven this morning, as god has restored him and he is full and free from the bindings of this life. thank you, sweet boy, for drawing me closer to jesus. i will never forget your smile and laugh.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-79000476605340905932011-03-19T11:19:00.000-07:002011-03-19T11:19:53.205-07:00integrity<div class="entry_text">i am in almost exactly the same place that i was in four years ago- in 2007, i wrote this:</div><div class="entry_text"> </div><div class="entry_text">being pure in heart is the single most important thing to me. people seem so fixated on what the rest of the world thinks of them, of their actions, their motives, the things they do that are seen. i think that integrity, and the purity that goes alongside it are much more valuable than public opinion. i love the way Mother Theresa says that if God calls her to clean toilets, that she will do it with as much passion and honor as if He had called her to witness to the president, or when Martin Luther King says that if you're called to be a streetsweeper, to be the best streetsweeper you can be. i dont care what anyone else thinks about my vocation, my marriage, or my ministry, as long as God sees where my heart is, the rest is just the opinion of men. every relationship i have, every "act of service" i do has nothing to do with the other people involved, it has to do with my relationship with my Creator at the time that i do them. when it comes down to it, at the end of my life i am not going to face my friends, or the people i work for, or even my husband...everything that i have ever done is going to be stripped down to the condition of my heart when i did it. i want to do everything to Him, for Him, and with Him.</div><div class="clear"> </div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-39463305728760022532011-02-09T21:56:00.001-08:002011-02-09T21:56:31.540-08:00something i learned from my friend, sarah“When John Kavanaugh, the noted and famous ethicist, went to Calcutta, he was seeking Mother Teresa … and more. He went for three months to work at “the house of the dying” to find out how best he could spend the rest of his life.<br />
<br />
When he met Mother Teresa, he asked her to pray for him. “What do you want me to pray for?” she replied. He then uttered the request he had carried thousands of miles: “Clarity. Pray that I have clarity.”<br />
<br />
“No,” Mother Teresa answered, “I will not do that.” When he asked her why, she said, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of.” When Kavanaugh said that she always seemed to have clarity, the very kind of clarity he was looking for, Mother Teresa laughed and said: “I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.”Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-40135881930397305262011-01-30T20:17:00.000-08:002011-01-30T20:17:58.500-08:00child feverthere is a 6 year old boy with two dimples who winks and raises his eyebrows and pretends to hate kisses. who showed up in our extended family with two suitcases; one half-filled with summer clothing two sizes too small, and another one filled with happy meal toys and a superman cape. whose little life was created in a terribly broken world, surrounded by broken people, a boy who i would not blink at the thought of giving everything for.<br />
<br />
there is another child who i have the honor of loving on a daily basis. whose little twisted foot and underdeveloped brain make it impossible for him to live an ordinary life. who screams and drools and giggles and only says 3 syllable words. i cannot, for the life of me, shake the desire to take him on the teacup ride at disneyland, imagining his joy and laughter as he spins in circles, as i hold his little body in place.<br />
<br />
next door to my classroom, in a class of 3, 4, and 5 year olds with developmental delays, is a darling little boy who has completely captured my heart. he is defiant and angry and complicated and i love him completely. his beautiful soul longs to be valued and cherished and cradled, and it shows in every step he takes. i heard a story once about a teacher who sued for custody of a mistreated child, and won. i get that.<br />
<br />
my best friend is pregnant with her first baby. this is a landmark in our lives and in our stories, as she is the first person in my immediate group of best friends to embark on this journey. i always wondered if this is something we would do together, the pregnancy/baby thing. and yet, over the last few months i have come so far from wanting to bear a child. i rarely find myself standing side ways in front of a mirror pushing my stomach out, wondering when there will be life inside of me, like i have far so many years of my life. now, the desire to love a child born outside of my womb has gone from strong, to unquenchable. the holy Spirit has been pounding at the door to my heart, creating in me a sense of urgency to mother a child that isnt mine.<br />
<br />
<br />
the three little boys in my life have been placed there as a picture of love. to show me how intensely i could love a child that wasnt born mine. when i think of those three boys who were born into hopeless situations and how much i would give up to make their lives whole, i can only imagine what God has in store for the children that are waiting to be in my forever family. waiting and praying and waiting and praying for the things in my life to align as God prepares my heart for what awaits. i can only imagine what he has in store. Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-77410630980213357752011-01-01T22:02:00.000-08:002011-01-01T22:02:11.994-08:00resolve.<div style="text-align: center;">when i reflect on my walk with christ, ive seen alot more evidence of his presence in my heart than in my circumstances. i spend alot of time trying to save people and change people and get people to make better choices (by my own obscure standards) for their lives. the thing is, i also pray for these people and ask god to change their circumstances.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> i have completely missed the meaning of life. </div><div style="text-align: center;">there are mountains and valleys and the mountains are amazing and the valleys are supposed to suck. that is the nature of mountains and valleys. in valleys, you cant see beyond what is right in front of you. valleys are hopeless and there is no way out but through. </div><div style="text-align: center;">when i reflect on my quarter century of life, the moments that have defined me have been equal parts mountain and valley. the mountains have been incredible, but the valleys have shaped the way i see the mountains. on the mountaintop, i see things clearly, i feel exuberant and hopeful and alive and free, there is nothing blocking my view of jesus. these places are often based on the condition of my heart being equal to my circumstances. </div><div style="text-align: center;">but, oh the valleys! these are the places when my circumstances are often completely out of my control and the only thing i can do is pray for god to change the condition of my heart. and he does! he doesnt often change my circumstances (he can, and he sometimes will) <b>because they are ordained to shape my heart. </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">the point is, i have decided that i dont give a damn about circumstances in 2011. last year, i allowed my heart to completely depend on them (ex: we just won a trip on wheel of fortune! life is great!-- or, we just argued for three hours straight! life is horrible!). </div><div style="text-align: center;">i just want to focus all of my efforts on being the person that God created me to be, and praying (not manipulating) for the people around me to be who He created them to be. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span><span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></span></span><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.” – Thomas Paine</span></span></b></div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-33892984211549429352010-11-10T22:03:00.000-08:002010-11-10T22:03:53.176-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">you know that feeling when you have absolutely no control over anything at all? its kind of freeing. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcElBvSNoX1cBvFL8qyteBzBcSlCW8iOJCpkIYOSIfpxJ-HZtr6EfRk5aVxhBCBrfJ5gtwUUdZ78yBEAAN3jP9YppHfME7DpLhsb8a1k7fYd3FSWveGHFsZQlGHTUpsz4gCQYV248XgS_/s1600/IMG_4385.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcElBvSNoX1cBvFL8qyteBzBcSlCW8iOJCpkIYOSIfpxJ-HZtr6EfRk5aVxhBCBrfJ5gtwUUdZ78yBEAAN3jP9YppHfME7DpLhsb8a1k7fYd3FSWveGHFsZQlGHTUpsz4gCQYV248XgS_/s320/IMG_4385.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-78852403298869591882010-11-06T19:39:00.000-07:002010-11-06T19:45:25.484-07:00figmentsi feel really good right now. i mean, i usually feel really happy, but right now i feel really good about life. and not because good things are necessarily happening, quite the opposite actually. its just that bad things dont shake me the way they would have a year ago.<br />
ive been reading about shawn mcdonald. he sings all those catchy worship songs that sound like this "i da wada wada wada waiii need you!" look him up if you want to, hes good stuff. ive always liked his music, mostly because omar is really good at emulating him and i like omar.<br />
but heres the thing, most people (myself absolutely one hundred percent totally included) like to pretend that they are figments. they (we) live imaginary lives and sugarcoat everything and pretend like everything is candy dandy. some people (me) only share the bad when it is happening to someone else, and only share all of the peachy things happening to themselves (myself). this gives everyone else a false sense of what life is like and they start doubting their own lives and thinking that they are the only ones with issues and they start pretending too, and pretty soon weve got a world FULL of figments. <br />
so, back to shawn mcdonald. he is a pretty bomb musician and i wanted to read about his life so i looked him up on wikipedia and saw that he got a divorce in april of this year. i have never, in all of my 7 years of being a christian, ever heard of a divorced worship artist. so, i started investigating and i found his blog and i found his former wife's blog and they laid out the entire event. as it was happening. and still honored eachother and god. it is so refreshing to read. and i was so stoked- not at all because of their crappy situation but because someone finally came out in the christian worship community as a sinner. a broken sinner, (like me) who is in desperate need of grace and knows it and wants other people to know it. so people (like me) who need hope and need to know that im not alone in working through things that are far beyond my realm of understanding can look at a real life, all laid out, a person who messes up- reeeally messes up--- and knows how desperately they need jesus without turning away from him.<br />
i say this all because alot of people think my life is perfect- and its not. when they say that to me, i smile and think "if you only knew." most people i know would say that i have my stuff together and im a good person and i am good at life- and its not fair to think that because then people get false perceptions about their own lives and that sucks. it sucks to think your life sucks when everyone elses life sucks too, but nobody wants anyone to know. its obvious that im not very articulate lately, which is why i dont blog. and also, i want to be real and im not sure how to do that without hurting other people, but i recognize it and thats a start.<br />
<br />
here are the blogs i was referring to---GOOD stuff:<br />
<a href="http://ramblingsofabeggar.wordpress.com/page/2/">Shawn McDonald</a><br />
<a href="http://katemcdonald.wordpress.com/why-i-blog/where-i-have-been/">Kate McDonald </a>Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-8598469024889704612010-10-20T20:17:00.001-07:002010-10-20T20:17:52.921-07:00i wonder what people did before the world needed saving. im assuming that the only instance of this took place in a garden, where a man sat around<br />
naming things<br />
waiting<br />
wandering around<br />
waiting<br />
waiting<br />
doesnt exactly seem like "fullness of life" to me. i wonder if he wondered what he was waiting for.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-32419871608208331492010-09-28T21:33:00.000-07:002010-09-28T21:33:40.057-07:00why sending your 18 year old daughter to europe by herself for 2 months is a great ideaevidently im not very good at commitment. i am not used to blogging. ive "blogged" for 8 years, but theyve always been on my own conditions because the only people who actually read what i wrote were ex-boyfriends and stalkers. no excuses. i really want to write a life update. like, about my 25th birthday indian party. and living my DREAM job. and how being married is so incredibly difficult and omar is still my bff. how i have the most loyal, incredible, supportive friends on earth. or how grad school is the most fun thing on earth. <br />
<br />
i think i accidentally wrote an incredibly vague life update just now.<br />
<br />
but that is not it. there is more. there is so much more. <br />
<br />
once upon a time i went to europe. for two months. alone. with little money. and no plans. it was the best experience of my life. so much of what i know about being a strong, independent woman with a complete and total reliance on my creator comes from that experience. i am constantly drawing back to that time when i need to be brave. when i wonder if i have what it takes to do things. when i wonder if my god will come through. those months were when i got to experience the most pure, raw, version of myself. i am really good at getting off track and venturing far away from myself, and those are the places i draw back to. so, my 18 year old self has been equipping me lately to take on things wayyyyy beyond my scope of understanding and bringing me to a place where i have to just make it happen. make it work. press on. be brave enough to run half naked into the warm ocean water at one in the morning with absolute strangers and splash around and flop down on the sand and not give a damn what my hair looks like or if im saying or doing things that arent ladylike, and hold my pants and my sandals under my arm as i wander barefoot through a city that only days before scared me to death and feel completely at home and safe in the arms of my savior. thats whats up.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-39454349999671333462010-09-02T16:13:00.000-07:002010-09-02T16:13:16.019-07:00all i have to say right now.I have unanswered prayers<br />
I have trouble I wish wasn't there<br />
And I have asked a thousand ways<br />
That You would take my pain away<br />
That You would take my pain away<br />
<br />
I am trying to understand<br />
How to walk this weary land<br />
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie<br />
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine<br />
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine<br />
<br />
When my world is shaking<br />
Heaven stands<br />
When my heart is breaking<br />
I never leave Your hands<br />
<br />
When You walked upon the Earth<br />
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt<br />
I know You hate to see me cry<br />
One day You will set all things right<br />
Yea, one day You will set all things right<br />
<br />
When my world is shaking<br />
Heaven stands<br />
When my heart is breaking<br />
I never leave Your hands<br />
<br />
Your hands<br />
Your hands that shape the world <br />
Are holding me, they hold me still<br />
Your hands that shape the world<br />
Are holding me, they hold me still<br />
<br />
When my world is shaking<br />
Heaven stands<br />
When my heart is breaking<br />
I never leave You when...<br />
<br />
When my world is shaking<br />
Heaven stands<br />
When my heart is breaking<br />
I never leave...<br />
I never leave Your hands <!--ringtones and media links -->Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8985295177978048252.post-48425598428729190292010-08-22T17:59:00.000-07:002010-08-22T17:59:33.448-07:00do you love it?one of my earliest, most vivid, memories is from first grade. i dont remember who my friends were or the specifics of what i learned, but i vividly remember a very special person who spoke truth into my life at a very early age. she was a janitor (or maybe a campus monitor or teachers aide of some kind?) at my elementary school. i remember very little about her, other than the fact that she was a middle aged african american woman (i only remember this because i was at a time in my life where i desperately wished i was black. not kidding.) who smiled alot. i was five years old, and younger than many of my peers. i remember a shirt she wore that had comic book writing all over it. while she was overseeing the kids on the playground, i walked over to her and told her that i liked her shirt. she laughed and asked why. i told her that i thought it was funny. she laughed again and asked how i knew it was funny, because no one had read it to me. i explained to her that i liked (LOVED, more than anything) reading, and i already knew how to read. from that day on she called me "little miss i can read everything i see."<br />
each day after that she would greet me in the morning with my nickname and would bring something for me to read out loud to her. i looked forward to seeing her everyday.<br />
one day, she and i were standing out by the busses and the kids with special needs arrived. i had a friend who was in a wheelchair (who probably also had some mental disabilities, but i didnt notice that at the time). i remember interacting with my friend, and after she rolled away i vividly remember the janitor lady looking me in the eyes and saying, "Honey, looks like you've got a gift. You will be a fabulous special ed teacher someday."<br />
i firmly believe that a seed was planted in my heart that day, twenty years ago.<br />
<br />
i have met countless "janitor ladies" in my life. the girl that used to manage the rubios down the street who treated every single customer with such kindness that it was apparent that the light of christ shined through her, my 6th grade bus driver who played worship music and told me about god and how much he loved me, my mother in law who cleans houses for the elderly, all people who have embraced their profession and chosen to use it to glorify god. <br />
<br />
anytime i meet a new person and they tell me what they do for a living, i always ask the same question: DO YOU LOVE IT? the answers are shocking. ive met multimillionaire CEOs who say that they hate what they do, and girls who work the night shift for the drive thru at jack in the box who say that they love their job and wouldnt trade it for anything. people are clearly capable of loving almost anything. as i look at the upcoming school year and the apprehension i have about teaching at a new school to a new population of kids, i want to choose to have the attitude of love. i want to wake up every morning and decide to love what i do, the people that god has placed in front of me, the trials that will grow me, and the time ive been given to do exactly what god is calling me to this year. because next year, he could be calling me to scrub toilets or meet with the leaders of the united nations or make french fries, and the only thing that will matter at the end of my life is what i did with the time he gave me.Allie Garciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401602053318611773noreply@blogger.com3