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evidently im not very good at commitment. i am not used to blogging. ive "blogged" for 8 years, but theyve always been on my own conditions because the only people who actually read what i wrote were ex-boyfriends and stalkers. no excuses. i really want to write a life update. like, about my 25th birthday indian party. and living my DREAM job. and how being married is so incredibly difficult and omar is still my bff. how i have the most loyal, incredible, supportive friends on earth. or how grad school is the most fun thing on earth.
i think i accidentally wrote an incredibly vague life update just now.
but that is not it. there is more. there is so much more.
once upon a time i went to europe. for two months. alone. with little money. and no plans. it was the best experience of my life. so much of what i know about being a strong, independent woman with a complete and total reliance on my creator comes from that experience. i am constantly drawing back to that time when i need to be brave. when i wonder if i have what it takes to do things. when i wonder if my god will come through. those months were when i got to experience the most pure, raw, version of myself. i am really good at getting off track and venturing far away from myself, and those are the places i draw back to. so, my 18 year old self has been equipping me lately to take on things wayyyyy beyond my scope of understanding and bringing me to a place where i have to just make it happen. make it work. press on. be brave enough to run half naked into the warm ocean water at one in the morning with absolute strangers and splash around and flop down on the sand and not give a damn what my hair looks like or if im saying or doing things that arent ladylike, and hold my pants and my sandals under my arm as i wander barefoot through a city that only days before scared me to death and feel completely at home and safe in the arms of my savior. thats whats up.
