every month I think i'm pregnant.
so far, its been 27 months since we got married,
and every single one, for at least a couple days, i convince myself im pregnant. thankfully i only took pregnancy tests twice, and both were in the beginning. i've since learned that the $10 and awkward feeling of being so disappointed and so relieved is not worth the extra couple of days of wondering.
you would think that by month 23 i would realize that im probably not pregnant and i shouldnt let the thought cross my mind. except that month 23 marked the month i stopped taking birth control (forever and ever no matter what) and started natural family planning.
do you know what happens when you tell someone youre doing natural family planning? they laugh in your face. everytime. or they say that they think its cute, and then they laugh in your face. they laugh because they expect you to look like this in a few months:
except not a gangster probably.
anyway, im probably not pregnant, even though im nauseous at the same time everyday, my lower back hurts, and i feel hot and cold all the time and im moody. see? now you think i am too.
anyway, were on a five year plan. which is not really a five year plan, because if you want to know how my ten year plan from five years ago worked out, here it is:
fall 2006- graduate college with a degree in elementary education ---FAIL
spring 2007- move to mexico and open a school for orphans---FAIL
2009- meet my husband, but dont date yet because brains arent fully developed until age 25 ----FAIL
2010- date my husband ---FAIL
2011- marry my husband ----FAIL
2014- have our first baby ----- totally still possible, but i wont count on it.
heres the thing about babies and husbands and living in orphanages in mexico: i decided not to be in charge of my life almost exactly 7 years ago. good thing, too.
i wouldnt trade right now for anything.
but, if a fetus happens to develop in my womb in less than five years?
i wouldnt trade that for anything either.