Wednesday, November 11, 2009

pregnant as usual, except not. as usual.

every month I think i'm pregnant.
so far, its been 27 months since we got married,
and every single one, for at least a couple days, i convince myself im pregnant. thankfully i only took pregnancy tests twice, and both were in the beginning. i've since learned that the $10 and awkward feeling of being so disappointed and so relieved is not worth the extra couple of days of wondering.
you would think that by month 23 i would realize that im probably not pregnant and i shouldnt let the thought cross my mind. except that month 23 marked the month i stopped taking birth control (forever and ever no matter what) and started natural family planning.
do you know what happens when you tell someone youre doing natural family planning? they laugh in your face. everytime. or they say that they think its cute, and then they laugh in your face. they laugh because they expect you to look like this in a few months:

except not a gangster probably.
anyway, im probably not pregnant, even though im nauseous at the same time everyday, my lower back hurts, and i feel hot and cold all the time and im moody. see? now you think i am too.

anyway, were on a five year plan. which is not really a five year plan, because if you want to know how my ten year plan from five years ago worked out, here it is:
fall 2006- graduate college with a degree in elementary education ---FAIL
spring 2007- move to mexico and open a school for orphans---FAIL
2009- meet my husband, but dont date yet because brains arent fully developed until age 25 ----FAIL
2010- date my husband ---FAIL
2011- marry my husband ----FAIL
2014- have our first baby ----- totally still possible, but i wont count on it.

heres the thing about babies and husbands and living in orphanages in mexico: i decided not to be in charge of my life almost exactly 7 years ago. good thing, too.
i wouldnt trade right now for anything.
but, if a fetus happens to develop in my womb in less than five years?
i wouldnt trade that for anything either.







6 comments:

Rebecca Louise. said...

Your plan just goes to show that nothing is a dead cert, but your're happy and that's what matters :) x

Mama Bird said...

your "five year plan" is cute to me. I never make plans just because I expect them not to work out the way I envision anyway- like, I ever thought my life would look like it does today, last year.

People laugh at family planning because they know at least a handful of couples who said they were family planning and got pregs the next month, or the next 6 months after that.

I'm guessing you're probably pregnant. And you should be because that was my plan! That we could have play dates before conrad was 5! I hope you're pregnant!

Jenna said...

Ok so I'm totally freaking out thinking your pregnant!!!! With all those sympoms holy smokes Mrs. Garcia!!!!

Sarah and Jesse said...

First off I love our picture!!! Did you get the idea from the way I look :) haha.. What I love is that we always think we have a plan for our lives but God always has a different one for us. But thats the great part about it. We can at least know that maybe he knows a little more than we do and can put us on the right path!!:)

ChloƩ said...

k can i just say i am so glad you commented on my blog, because i think you are hilarious! i love you already! i swear i think that i am pregnant every month too. without fail. i don't get why i keep using birth control. i am not sure if the anxiety is worth it! haha, it's funny sometimes how our plans work out..or funny how they don't eh?

my name is lauren. said...

i'm totally a planner....which makes it hard to let go and trust god like i should.

my husband and i are going to be having our 2 year anniversary in two weeks and i was just laughing about how i wanted to start trying for babies after 2 years. HA! yeah right! now that i'm at 2 years, i'm totally not ready. so much for my own plan......

p.s. i'm completely in love with your blog!!!