Thursday, February 12, 2009

Epilogue

Being married to the love of your life is not like dancing on clouds, or running across the milky way galaxy, in fact, I have no idea what to compare it to, because it is incomparable. The beginning, the literal honeymoon period is like heaven on earth:

Chillin on the beach with my sweet huz

chillin on a boat with my sweet huz

chillin at a waterfall with my sweet huz

chillin before parasailin with my sweet huz
chillin at sunset on the ocean with my sweet huz

We had the perfect honeymoon. And we had the perfect first few months of marriage, because we still believed that we could do no wrong. We stayed in bed all day on Saturdays and laughed when people said that the first year was the hardest. And then it was. And six months into our marriage I freaked out. I suddenly realized that I was tied to one person for the rest of my life and he was not at all the same person that I started dating. That person bought me flowers all the time and wrote me love notes and laughed at everything I said. This new person in my bed was so different; he farted all the time and we argued over who would do the dishes in our sink. At that point, if our commitment was to eachother and not to God, we would have failed. I would have run away from the situation, like ive done in so many others, and he would have drowned himself in some substance or another. Because God was working in our lives though, He taught us how to treat eachother with love and respect. He renewed our love for eachother, and made us see eachother through different eyes. See, I don't think that you can love a person until you can see them inside and out. Until youve seen them at their weakest, most unimpressive state. Until youve woken up next to bad breath and tried to go to the bathroom in the night only to find that they forgot to flush. Once youve seen all of that, and can still say that they are the most lovable human being on the planet, then you can have an accurate perception of where your life together will go. Until then, its only small talk.

Omar and I are learning to love eachother unconditionally, and in situations where other relationships would fail, we flourish. Weve chosen to be gentle with eachother's hearts, accepting of eachother's faults, and willing to work to change the parts of ourselves that are taking away from the whole of our relationship. We have gone from the deep infatuation of our engagement, to a lifelong commitment, centered around our authentic love for eachother and for God.

I wrote this in January of 2007, and its more true now than ever:

in song of soloman the beloved (the woman) urges her friends three times to "not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" and i completely understand why she is so persistent about it. all i want to do is tell all of the people around me in my loudest, boldest voice to WAIT FOR THIS, wait for the plan that God has for you, DONT WASTE YOUR TIME on anything else, it will come when both hearts have been prepared. and it is SO worth waiting for. but i know that this is one of those things that you have to figure out on your own, and when you do you'll want to shout it to everyone and no one will listen because they are still figuring it out on their own. conundrum.

To the many sweet souls who took time out of your lives to read this: Thank you.

6 comments:

Rebecca Louise. said...

You told a beautiful love story and the best thing was that it was real and authentic. It was not a movie =] however I thank you for also showing that even though true love is the greatest it still comes with pitfalls...the perfect balance and the perfect couple.

xxx.

Chelsea Robbins said...

yeah, just like The Notebook....

I agree Rebeca Louise.

Loved the pictures too.

Suki said...

The most perfect love story. I loved to read it.
You are both so blessed with each other.

Jana said...

So I believe I came across your blog from Sara Shine's blog. And I fell for the Holga camera and had to do much research about it. Then I stumbled on your love story: laughed, started to sniffle and told myself I wouldn't cry and then I did. Wonderful story and gives me the extra strength to get through to find that perfect guy. Thank you!

stina said...

hi i'm on the 365 blog too & i decided that while vegging out on ridiculous foreign mini series on dvds to check out each person's blog who is reading along...
i stayed up extra late just to read your love story all the way through to the epilogue and let me just tell you, it is without a doubt, a GODSEND.
i can relate to your story in lots of little ways...but right now, i'm praying about timing and the person, etc, being careful because of the past and handling things similarly to how you explained...i'm at that place where i'm so unsure about moving forward with love and the guy in my life keeps proving integrity, trust, respect, kindness, and his love for God and me and on and on...
anyway i pretty much cried and prayed my whole way through reading your story.
i appreciate and love that you explain how hard it is at all those different stages...people are so often transparent about that..it helps me to calm my mind and be realistic..(like how you freaked out after six months of marriage, i kindof already freak out about being committed to one person for ever no matter what. but. i'm realizing that-duh-i need to lean on the lord that much more)
well.
here's to more praying and placing my trust and life in God's hands because life is messy but good too and whatonearthamistilldoingawake :)

suzy said...

awww....i'm so happy for you. i'm a newlywed myself, eight months in, and i'm loving being married. i love hearing other people's stories... :)