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august 26, 2008
i have a list with 26 names on it. it should really only have 3. only 3 have changed me, shaped me, amazed me.
one still does, and will always.
the other 23 were there to fill the gaps, the gaps between who i am and who im supposed to be, to teach me how not to do things.
one broke me quickly and carefully ordered my steps, my legs wobbling, my heart still bleeding from the pain of healing, one so patient, so revolutionary, that more than 500 would later show up to honor him- a man who lived beyond the limits of this life, and whose selflessness captivated people all over the world, and yet was somehow used in my small, broken, life to piece me together, to make me whole. the mouth that God used to call me His own.
the second wandered awkwardly into my life from a door accidentally left open. this one approached too soon, but without warrant, rewrote truth across everything i had miswritten. i was falling, fast, fast, fast, and he was the speedbump- the reason to reexamine. the way i had treated others, but mostly the way i treated myself. this one taught me the value of not handing my heart out like candy on halloween, that there is more to all of this than what is in front of me. this one, and only this one, gave me vision and clarity for everything that would come. this one taught me that there was something so genuine, so real, that to experience it elsewhere would be to pass it by, that there was something out there worth waiting for.
lastly- the one. the one in the next chair over, the one that appeared many times right under my nose, the answer to everything i had ever asked or hoped for. the knight in metallic blue armor that would envelop me in his affections, would completely captivate my heart before i could pause to realize what was happening. the knowing. the way things were supposed to be and couldve been had Eve stayed away from the tree. the one that required the very thing that i knew nothing about, but am quickly learning. the patient, patient, one whose soul has been matched with mine.
it seems that completion always comes in three. that entities are somewhat incomplete unless they coexist with two other parts, at least in this case.
my tribute to the people that have changed my life would ideally be chronological, but it does not seem to be unfolding as such. it seems that oftentimes people can be very far away before you realize their value, but when you do- you do.
one still does, and will always.
the other 23 were there to fill the gaps, the gaps between who i am and who im supposed to be, to teach me how not to do things.
one broke me quickly and carefully ordered my steps, my legs wobbling, my heart still bleeding from the pain of healing, one so patient, so revolutionary, that more than 500 would later show up to honor him- a man who lived beyond the limits of this life, and whose selflessness captivated people all over the world, and yet was somehow used in my small, broken, life to piece me together, to make me whole. the mouth that God used to call me His own.
the second wandered awkwardly into my life from a door accidentally left open. this one approached too soon, but without warrant, rewrote truth across everything i had miswritten. i was falling, fast, fast, fast, and he was the speedbump- the reason to reexamine. the way i had treated others, but mostly the way i treated myself. this one taught me the value of not handing my heart out like candy on halloween, that there is more to all of this than what is in front of me. this one, and only this one, gave me vision and clarity for everything that would come. this one taught me that there was something so genuine, so real, that to experience it elsewhere would be to pass it by, that there was something out there worth waiting for.
lastly- the one. the one in the next chair over, the one that appeared many times right under my nose, the answer to everything i had ever asked or hoped for. the knight in metallic blue armor that would envelop me in his affections, would completely captivate my heart before i could pause to realize what was happening. the knowing. the way things were supposed to be and couldve been had Eve stayed away from the tree. the one that required the very thing that i knew nothing about, but am quickly learning. the patient, patient, one whose soul has been matched with mine.
it seems that completion always comes in three. that entities are somewhat incomplete unless they coexist with two other parts, at least in this case.
my tribute to the people that have changed my life would ideally be chronological, but it does not seem to be unfolding as such. it seems that oftentimes people can be very far away before you realize their value, but when you do- you do.
