Sunday, April 18, 2010

the busiest month ever/not yet

 we are in the midst of the busiest month ever, which actually is much busier in theory than in action. we are officially 3 weeks away from graduation, 2 weeks away from being done with school, and 1 week from my best friend's wedding. ah! 

so, a week ago i started feeling nauseous at weird times throughout the day. and then it went on for three days. and then i realized that i miscalculated my ovulation days and we may have conceived our first child in a tent on the beach in california. we, especially omar and our bank account and signed teaching contract, are not at all in a place where this is the best timing. i decided to wait it out. then i started feeling absolutely exhausted and napping everyday. and my boobs felt more sore than they ever have ever. and i waited longer. then i couldnt wait anymore, and it was a week later and i was still feeling queasy for the majority of the day everyday. i may or may not have taken 2 pregnancy tests at this point, and was due for my period. and then i spotted slightly. and that was it. nothing else for an entire day. but then, then the glory day of stomach flu 2010 happened. and i spent saturday morning on the toilet, and the rest of the day whining and aching and whining and watching 7 consecutive movies while my abdomen squished into my knees and my husband watched in pity. it was the greatest stomach flu ever, because i suddenly realized that my queasy, tired, self was a direct result of my troop of an immune system and not, as omar would say, a little somethin-somethin hatching inside me. and then i bled my guts out (t.m.i.-sorry) and thanked god for knowing the best timing for us, and knowing that we are not quite emotionally, spiritually, or financially ready to be responsible for another life, and even though i had mapped out the next 18 years and would have been totally and completely okay with being a mama, the not yet is such a relieving feeling. someday soon, but not yet. 


on a completely unrelated note: its taken us 7 years to graduate college (due to 3.5 years taken off for marriage and ministry) and we are finally graduating!!!!!!!! and this time next year ill be finishing my masters degree!!!!



3 comments:

my name is lauren. said...

pregnancy scares are the worst. i'm in the same boat...i'd be thrilled if it happened (after a couple of days anyway) but i'm definitely not quite ready yet. glad God's got his perfect timing.

and congrats on graduation. those photos of you two are so freaking adorable! love it :).

Rebecca Louise. said...

LOVE THE PICTURES!! And pleased to hear your gut has now settled.

Chelsea Robbins said...

I'm glad you're feeling ok.

I got a little excited, not gunna lie-thinking there could be a little omar or omara in your tummy!

It will happen when it happens, and when it does, you'll be scared out of your mind, and not ready (I dont believe ANYONE is ever "ready") but God is good and like you said, his timing is always right.

You guys will be great parents one day-and when you DO get pregnant, I better not find out ON YOUR BLOG!

Love you!