Epilogue

Being married to the love of your life is not like dancing on clouds, or running across the milky way galaxy, in fact, I have no idea what to compare it to, because it is incomparable. The beginning, the literal honeymoon period is like heaven on earth:

Chillin on the beach with my sweet huz

chillin on a boat with my sweet huz

chillin at a waterfall with my sweet huz

chillin before parasailin with my sweet huz

chillin at sunset on the ocean with my sweet huz

We had the perfect honeymoon. And we had the perfect first few months of marriage, because we still believed that we could do no wrong. We stayed in bed all day on Saturdays and laughed when people said that the first year was the hardest. And then it was. And six months into our marriage I freaked out. I suddenly realized that I was tied to one person for the rest of my life and he was not at all the same person that I started dating. That person bought me flowers all the time and wrote me love notes and laughed at everything I said. This new person in my bed was so different; he farted all the time and we argued over who would do the dishes in our sink. At that point, if our commitment was to eachother and not to God, we would have failed. I would have run away from the situation, like ive done in so many others, and he would have drowned himself in some substance or another. Because God was working in our lives though, He taught us how to treat eachother with love and respect. He renewed our love for eachother, and made us see eachother through different eyes. See, I don't think that you can love a person until you can see them inside and out. Until youve seen them at their weakest, most unimpressive state. Until youve woken up next to bad breath and tried to go to the bathroom in the night only to find that they forgot to flush. Once youve seen all of that, and can still say that they are the most lovable human being on the planet, then you can have an accurate perception of where your life together will go. Until then, its only small talk.

Omar and I are learning to love eachother unconditionally, and in situations where other relationships would fail, we flourish. Weve chosen to be gentle with eachother's hearts, accepting of eachother's faults, and willing to work to change the parts of ourselves that are taking away from the whole of our relationship. We have gone from the deep infatuation of our engagement, to a lifelong commitment, centered around our authentic love for eachother and for God.

I wrote this in January of 2007, and its more true now than ever:

in song of soloman the beloved (the woman) urges her friends three times to "not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" and i completely understand why she is so persistent about it. all i want to do is tell all of the people around me in my loudest, boldest voice to WAIT FOR THIS, wait for the plan that God has for you, DONT WASTE YOUR TIME on anything else, it will come when both hearts have been prepared. and it is SO worth waiting for. but i know that this is one of those things that you have to figure out on your own, and when you do you'll want to shout it to everyone and no one will listen because they are still figuring it out on their own. conundrum.

To the many sweet souls who took time out of your lives to read this: Thank you.

Chapter 16: You and I were made to worship

I wrote this the day after we got engaged: I always thought that my dream to dance on clouds was literal, but i know now that i was wrong. Dancing on clouds is actually the feeling you get when you know that youre going to spend the rest of your life with the most incredible person you've ever met.

If that is true, then knowing that in a few hours you are going to promise your life away to that same person is like running barefoot across the milky way galaxy.

We had several interesting situations that made the day a little chaotic:
The first was during breakfast with my bridesmaids when we discovered that the slideshow DVD that one of my sweet friends spent 3 days on, was not actually the slideshow DVD. It was actually something totally scandalous that belonged to my brother in law and that would not be the best choice of wedding entertainment. In fact, I think we couldve gotten sued for showing it. Since almost everyone coming to our wedding had already taken the five hour journey from Vegas to San Diego, we called everyone we knew that was coming to the wedding. Our wonderful friends, Tracy and Jose, were already at stateline, but turned around and followed our instructions to break into Jill's house to ge the laptop the dvd was made on. Problem solved.

In addition, After Hours tux shop is not for the faint at heart, particularly not for the bride who wanted NO black outfits at her wedding, particularly in her bridal party. You know, the bride who picked out champagne colored tuxes with light salmon vests and ties just to stay away from the traditional black tux wedding. After Hours apparently didnt get the memo that I didnt want my gay-exboyfriend-groomsman to look like he was the groom in all of my pictures. So, fifteen minutes before the ceremony began, Jon came upstairs quite apprehensively. When I saw him I had my single bridezilla moment that obviously consisted of calmly telling Jon that it didnt matter what color tux he wore (or lecturing the sweet lady on the phone at After Hours for five minutes straight about how they, oh my gosh, totally ruined my entire wedding). Apparently, at some point I got over it because when Omar sent the message that his dad, who had flown here all the way from Venezuela for our wedding, had gotten lost and had not arrived yet, I was calm and collected.
So, we waited the extra half hour for him to find his way, and in spite of these few mishaps, the best day of my entire 21 years of existence began:

The Entrance

My precious bridesmaids, using teamwork to tie up my dress. It didnt take nearly as long to be taken off. Did I just say that?

These sweet girls do this with me quite often, this time was particularly special.

Our wonderful photographer, Bobbie, thought that this group of strapping young men crying and praying together was one of the most touching things she's ever seen. I agree.

My best friend, Jessica.

My (step) dad, who has walked along side me for every important moment in the last 14 years.

He has the most tender heart out of anyone I know. Don't tell him I told you that.

Everything we ever dreamed of.

"Building a marriage is alot like building a house...." -Pastor David, in reference to the houses in Mexico that my BFFS and I built together.

One of my favorite parts of the ceremony, Pastor David brought the pink, sparkly, hammers that we blistered our hands and built memories in our hearts with.

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken..."

"Allie, I love you with all of my heart. You are my soulmate and my companion. I remember exactly one year ago today when we started our journey together. I knew on that day that we were meant to be together to share Christ's love with the world. I pledge my all to you just as Christ gave His life for the church. In sickness, I will nurse you back to health. In health, I will encourage you on your path. In sadness, I will help you to remember. In happiness, I will be there to make memories with you. In poverty, I will do all that I can to make our love rich. And in wealth, I will never let our love grow poor. Nothing can, or ever will, change the unconditional love that I have for you. Til death do us part."

I take you Babas, to be my husband, my best friend, my soulmate, and my partner in life.. You have shown me what it means to love, to forgive, and to endure, and more than that you have given me a walking example of God’s incredible love. You have nurtured me, sacrificed for me, protected me, and provided for me. I promise to give you every part of my heart that belongs in human hands. I promise to always be faithful to you and deserving of your trust. I promise to laugh with you and cry with you and to offer you words of hope and life. I know that our love is a gift from God, and I promise to treat it as that, and to love you with all that I am for the rest of my life.

Big ol' kiss the bride smoocheroo!

Real, authentic, I hope no one is watching, Ohmygosh we just got married, smoocheroo!


Little sister Olivia, BFF Jon, Brotherinlaw Omar, BFF Whitney, Our friend Austin, BFF Jess, Cheesy smoochey newlyweds, BFF Allyson, Omar's BFF Tyler, Younglife friend Katie, Younglife friend Mark
Almost all of these guys have single-handedly held me up at different times in my life, so thankful they still do.

Man, he is a hunk.
My beautiful girls, with their sparkling smiles and change-the-world hearts.

Our fam.

Sweet sweet, July 29th sunset on the beach kisses.

Love my sweet bridesmaids, dontcha know?

The redeemed slideshow, and delicious sushi bar.

The night before the wedding, we choreographed this dance in a conference room at the hotel, it was evident.

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found
The somebody who- could make me be true
Could make me be blue or even be glad
Just to be sad just thinking of you
Some others I've seen might never be mean
Might never be cross or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else gave me the thrill
With all your faults I love you still
It had to be you, Wonderful you, It had to be you!

Sweet dad, always stepping in, without stepping on my feet.

The best overpriced cake in the world. Our little friends were a tad anxious.

Austin Byrd, the giant wrestler that introduced me to the concept of God, caught the bouquet...of course.

Omar's sick awesome dance moves are CLEARLY genetic.

Our wedding was the epitome of my perfect fantasy. God's evident love shined brighter through my groom that day more than ever and kissing him at the alter was just like that moment in Never Been Kissed where Drew Barrymore realizes that she is kissing the last person she will ever kiss in her life, but better because it was real, and because our fickled, wayward, hearts had found a home in eachother for all of eternity.

And they lived happily ever after....


Stay tuned for the "Epilogue"

more important than our love story

Little Abby was adopted by her wonderful family from Guatemala when she was a baby. Recently, she was diagnosed with Leukemia, and the internet has been covering her in prayer. I ask you, my faithful readers, to do the same. She is not doing well and is in the worst stages of her battle. Her family of 9 is devastated. Please pray for God's hand on her, that her family and doctors will have discernment in making decisions about the next move. Pray that God heals her completely, whether this be on earth or by bringing her to Him. And that He will give her family strength regardless of what happens. Thank you!!!

Chapter Fifteen: Pre-wedding wedding and wedding weekend

Since we were about to spontaneously combust from anticipation, we got married in Vegas before we got married in San Diego.Just kidding. But, our wedding rehearsal, two days before our actual wedding, did act as our "legal wedding," because I just HAD to have my two favorite pastors perform our wedding ceremony and they are only licensed in Nevada, so ...

We had our rehearsal dinner at our favorite restaurant with our favorite people and ate the MOST delicious wedding cake made by our favorite baker, Cybelle. (please note the bride and groom topper and the beautiful orange polka-dots. not bad for a 5 year old.)
(the next Betty Crocker, who I'm confident will someday run her own multi-million dollar bakery)

The morning after our wedding rehearsal, we headed to sunny San Diego with our wonderful wedding party. We had some insane altercations amongst several of our family members, involving a kidnapping, police, abandonment, and lots and lots of yelling and crying. I try not to dwell on that, but it definitely heightened emotions, to say the least. Fortunately, the girls who have stood by me for many, many years were still standing. Without Whitney and Jessica, I may have gotten on the next flight to an island off the coast of anywhere, where I would have spent the rest of my days playing Nintendo DS. Thank God for those two girls, because I suck at Super Mario World.

We spent time on the beach.
We spent time with each other. And we spent time away from each other, trying to squeeze in our last few moments of quality single time with our BFFs.

I got a little reminiscent of Proverbs 31. You know, where it says that a wife of noble character leaps across gaping spaces to take cute pictures with her bridesmaids. I was feeling dangerous. Dont judge me.

The next day was our wedding. And chaos was about to ensue.

to be continued...

Chapter Fourteen: Tempted

Planning a wedding is typically a highly stressful event that results in the proverbial Bridezilla. This did not occur for us. We thought that planning a wedding in a different state when we knew absolutely no one that lived there would be difficult, but God Himself intervened and helped us to a plan a wedding that was within our budget and was everything we ever dreamed of.

(sunset on the beach, were a little obsessed with these, march 2007)

It is my goal to be as honest and real as possible, especially with the people that are reading this. The months leading up to our wedding were difficult. We struggled a lot with temptation. Temptation to surrender our wedding plans and just elope. Temptation to take our relationship to a place that we had already vowed not to. I told Omar at the beginning of our relationship that if we had sex before we got married, regardless of who initiated it, we would not get married. I wanted to have a marriage with a solid foundation, one that was was holy in the sight of God and wasn’t based on feelings. Feelings can divide easily, because people are unstable and selfish. I decided years before that I was not going to have sex with my husband before we got married. So, we struggled.

We struggled with the distance between our houses and the fact that it was easier to spend the night than to drive home at two in the morning. But, we were so afraid to cheat ourselves and our marriage by giving into things that we had already decided not to do. Once you know you’ve found THE ONE, it makes it exceedingly difficult to win the battle in your mind. In spite of several wedding planning weekend trips to San Diego, and many nights of accidentally falling asleep in each others arms, our wedding day was quickly approaching and we hadnt given in.
There are certain components of love that are unmatched by any other “emotion” and we learned that the hard way. The many nights of praying that we could make it until our wedding night, and the satisfaction of knowing that part of our marriage was going to be experienced the way it was designed to were sure to be well worth the wait.

(taking a beach break from wedding planning, june 2007)

Anyway, we made many trips to San Diego between January and July. So many, that we would go to Sea World just for lunch. So many, that we didn’t need directions anymore. So many that…you get the point. It is difficult to plan a “destination wedding” but it works out pretty well. Even on a small budget, you can invite everyone you know so that nobody feels left out, and the people that you are closest with generally will do anything to be there, but the ones that you aren’t, don’t make the effort. We knew exactly what we wanted: a beach front wedding during sunset, on the beach, July 29th.

Everything fell perfectly into place. We found the perfect beach house:
(the very unimpressive front of our wedding venue)

(part of the ugly house's beautiful and perfect backyard)

The days were ticking away and we were looking forward to so many things. Our countdown began to the day that we would say I DO. And to say that we were stoked is an understatement.




to be continued....